Friday, February 18, 2005

If The Dress Fits.................

Okay, I'm back. When I started this, I thought I'd be journaling and making you all laugh every day. Well, I forgot to take into consideration my baby. haha. Sometimes she just doens't want me to give my attention to anything else. Or anyone. Have any of you seen Day lately??? I think he moved out. Oh, no wait, that's him asking for supper. haha. There's the microwave buddy!!!!!!!!!!!! Okay, my topic for today. Have any of you ever had to wear PLUS size clothing in your lives? Well, I do. And I have for quite awhile. And there is one thing I have noticed. No, wait, there are a few things I've noticed. Let's outline them:

1. When putting on a nice plus size dress, I notice the neckline is large enough for Auntie Em's herd of PIGS to run through 3 abreast. Who the hell designs these things???? Skinny queer guys????? Just because my ASS is a size 20 doesn't mean my neckline is the same size as William "The Fridge" Perry. C'mon here, I'm not a defensive lineman, I'm a chick. A large one, but nonetheless, a chick. My butt has the problem, not my neck. So I have to either have to use these incredibly stylish safety pins to pin this thing to my BRA and hope to God they don't snap open, or just jerk my shoulders up all night looking like I have a tic or something.

2. Following along the same lines as #1, just because my ass (and the designer ASSUMES my neck) is large, my height is not proportionate to the girth of the dress. Like, I mean, I'm not 7 feet tall. Let's get the hem up off the floor guys. I want to see some shoe here. Not necessarily a "cankle" but just at least the top of my shoes. (Cankle is where your calf just stops at the top of your foot. So you don't really have ankles, you have cankles.)

3. There is not much difference in the amount of material used between a size XL and a 2X. So why does the XXL cost $12.00 more? Am I being penalized for being fat??? Don't you know it costs more to eat healthy? That's why us po' gals are tubby. WE CAN'T AFFORD THE FRESH STRAWBERRIES at $13.99 a pound and the lean beef at $17.95 a pound!!!! So charge us the same as you would the XL gal.BESIDES, you make up for it on the size 3 gal's stuff!!!!!!

Okay, there. that's off my chest now. I think I'll go eat a bon bon.

Friday, February 04, 2005

Patty thoughts Wow

Here's a novel idea. If you are sick STAY HOME.... Annalynn and I got sick. Bad. I had it much worse, almost over it now. I give credit to all the moms who take care of sick kids. Especially when they're sick too. This is not easy. Gosh, my mom did it with 5 kids. 2 of which weren't even hers. You can't just lay in bed. When that little diaper is full, who you gonna call??? POOP BUSTERS???? nope. When those little jammies are full of puke, who you gonna call PUKE BUSTERS????? Nope. At least she was a happy sick baby. In a good mood even while she was hacking. So we had some friends over one night. I told Day to make sure they knew we were sick. They thought they'd "be fine" just like I did when we went to see someone with a sick baby. See, the problem here is that there has been a lack of flu shots. More and more folks are getting sick with these weird mutated germs. My sis and her husband had it too. They went to the doc and he said STAY HOME for a week. CALL OFF WORK. He said this is turning into an epidemic in Porter County because people don't or can't take off work. Guess in my older and wiser age, I'm learning to make different decisions. So if you wanna come see me and you're sick, DONT. And if I'm sick, I'll be sure to tell you. Wow. that was a nice blog, huh? cheers to you.